Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Come As You Are

I should be wearing silver,
A shiny metallic raincoat would do,
With a black hood (from a hoodie underneath?),
And a bright yellow label stuck on my forehead that reads,
I should be wearing a conical orange skirt
Of some sort of stiff and sturdy fabric,
With an orange and white horizontally striped halter top,
And a novelty store headband,
I’m sure I could find one on-line,
That has a round flashing light stuck on top.
I should be wearing a straightjacket,
There's a costume store nearby that ought to have them,
With a bunch of padlocks (some obviously broken),
And one of them should dangle an oversized manila shipping tag
That says, “If Found, Please Return To:
[Insert Name of Local Asylum Here].”
But, I’m not. Too bad for others. 



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 4th, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC)
would be better without the last line.
online is one word.
neat idea.

straitjackets use padlocks?
Feb. 4th, 2008 10:26 pm (UTC)
Actually, if I wrote this, I'd probably just cut everything but the first paragraph. Repetition's gotta have a purpose beyond repeating itself & the moment of cute surprise is the best part of the poem so: end & there's the best impression of the poem.

And then I would flog craft for a while, just because.
Feb. 5th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the feedback!
I'll leave this version for reference, but I'll consider the suggestions strongly for other use. I tend to like playing with variations on an image, but I understand that others might not care to read them.

Padlocks on straightjackets: I swear there was some old movie or something that had the sleeves and other bindings padlocked together, but I can't find any pictures like that online. Feh. (The multiple padlocks were just for costume effect.)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )